Today we ask that you release your need to control other people.

Most of the people reading these words probably are very open-minded and do not think of themselves as “controlling.”  And yet you might be surprised.

Really, any time you want someone to think differently or act differently, this is a desire to control that person.  When you think, ” I wish so-and-so wouldn’t do that!” or “I wish so-and-so wouldn’t act that way!”  This is a desire to control.

It is natural to have expectations of people.  But it is unhealthy to be attached to those expectations — to really need someone else to think or act in a particular way that suits you.

The healthy person is someone who is really, truly at ease with other people being the way they are.  This does not mean, be at ease with someone who is actively causing harm to another person.  But in 99% of situations, being at ease with someone else’s way of thinking and acting will not cause harm to another person.

We would like to say that if you perceive someone’s behavior to be self-destructive, unless it is really an extreme situation it is not your place to interfere or control.  Trying to control a self-destructive person usually just backfires and makes things worse.

If you do not like someone, that is okay.  You do not have to like everyone.  It is okay to be annoyed by people.  But even if other people are annoying, it is healthiest for you to release your need to control them and make them less annoying.

Some people really are okay with other people being the way they are.  Such people tend to be made very welcome in many places.  It is such a great relief to be around someone who is okay with who you are! Who asks nothing of you with the weight of expectation, or guilt.  Who can just be with you.  Aren’t those people wonderful?

When you let go of the need to control people, you become one of those wonderful ones.  A person with whom it is so very easy to be yourself.  And you may find that when you are less controlling, other people actually become friendlier, and more amenable.  It is a magical thing.

Today we ask you to feel a sense of trust in whatever is happening right now.

What does this mean?

Many people live their lives in a state of deep wariness, and mistrust.  They are always waiting for the other shoe to drop.  Always imagining potential disasters.  And most of all, they feel that life is treating them very unfairly.  They do not like the hand they’ve been dealt.  God is like a shady card dealer, always looking to deceive them and give them a bad hand.

It is not a pleasant way to live life.

Please know that God is not a treacherous card dealer, and that the Universe is not playing dice with your life.  It is not so.

Rather, the hand you have been dealt has been exquisitely crafted for you, and you alone.  There is no other life you should be having, no other life you could be having.  This life is the only one for you.  It is the only one.  You have not been cheated.  You have not been robbed.

It is often hard to trust the Universe in the midst of traumatic events.  Bad things appear to happen to good people.  What can you make of that?  How can you trust the Universe, when such terrible things occur?

We do not ask you to make light of tragic events.  We perceive the suffering of mankind, and do not ask you to make light of it.

But we tell you now, that you are not victims of a terrible world or a cruel fate.

This may only make sense when you eventually come to understand that no one dies.  You may not understand this until after you end this physical life.

But we tell you now, even if you cannot believe us — at the moment you pass from your physical body, you will perceive that you have been loved, absolutely loved, at every single moment of your existence.  You are never alone.  You are never abandoned.  And life is not cruel.

You will know this after you pass.  It is possible to know this right now.  When you live life with this understanding, you come to feel a deep sense of trust in reality.  God is, in fact, the most trustworthy of card dealers.

It is a very pleasant thing to live life with that sense of trust.  Even if you do not really believe it — just acting like you do can change your whole experience of life.

Today we ask you to meditate on the difference between the angry caveman and the serene fisherman.

What does this mean?

What comes to mind when you imagine a caveman?  Perhaps you think of a rather brutish fellow, yelling in an incoherent language.  A violent fellow, who goes about clubbing women and other cavemen into submission.  This is not an accurate portrait of your actual ancestors, but it suits our purposes.  For our purposes, imagine this brutish fellow with a club.

Now: imagine a serene fisherman.  He casts his well-made line with care, and precision.  Then he sits back, and patiently waits for the fish to come to him.  It is okay if the fish does not come for a long while, or even that day.  He enjoys the scenery, enjoys the wait.  And he knows that sooner or later, if he keeps fishing, a fish will come.

So hold these two images in your mind: the angry caveman, and the serene fisherman.

Most people, in their daily lives, are like the angry caveman.  They wake up in a funk, grumpy and irritable.  Before they leave home, they grab their clubs.  And they spend their days screaming at themselves and everyone else.  They may not scream out loud.  They may be outwardly quiet people.  Even so, inside they are screaming.  Their inner angry caveman is running amok, trying to club the whole world into submission.  Everything is a problem that must be beaten into shape.

The angry caveman is always trying to “make things happen.”  He’s here to “maximize potential” — his, and everyone else’s.  And if that potential isn’t maximized — out comes the club!

Here’s the bad news, angry cavemen.  Humans have now reached a point in their evolution in which this angry, hostile way of being must go the way of the Neanderthal.

There is another way of being and doing: and this is the way of the serene fisherman.

For the serene fisherman, it is all about the set-up.  You put energy into finding a good fishing spot, and in crafting your lure, your line.  This is essential.

In life, this is like keeping your mind and body in good health, and putting your energy into areas that are a good match for you.  That is your good fishing hole, your good line.

Once the fisherman has set himself up, he simply waits.  He does not expend an ounce of energy unnecessarily.  He waits patiently, knowing that the fish will come.  And when it does, he moves into action.  He has plenty of energy to take action when the correct moment arises, because he hasn’t been wasting it.

This is in contrast to the angry caveman, who is always swinging his club about and bellowing.  So that when the wildebeest comes into range, he is too tired to bring down the game and feed his tribe.  He has exhausted his resources so that when the time comes to take action, he is clumsy and spent.

So these are two ways of being.  The angry caveman, and the serene fisherman.  

They are equally valid ways of being.

But the caveman is angry.  And the fisherman is serene.

Today we ask you to understand why it is so very important to take care of your body.

Most people in theory understand that they ought to stay healthy — to eat well, to exercise, sleep, and so on.  And yet in practice they do not.  Often it requires a major health crisis in order for someone to be startled into affecting big changes in lifestyle.

This is in part because for many people there are conflicting priorities.  Yes, you’d like to stay healthy, but you must also work very hard in order to achieve your ambitions or make enough money.  So you drink lots of caffeine, and get little sleep.  You think it is only temporary, but it rarely is.  And over time, that kind of stressful lifestyle damages the body.

Please understand that a lifestyle of constant stress and overtaxing the body has a price.  It will catch up to you in time.  And it affects you right now.  It affects your mental state in insidious ways.

Mind and body are one.  When the body is stressed, the mind is stressed.  When the mind is stressed, the body is stressed.  Stress breeds stress.  So the direct result of overtaxing your physical body is anxiety and depression.

Please know that your body is the house for your mind.  Exhausting your body is like allowing your home to get very dirty and cluttered.  It is hard to feel happy in a dirty environment with garbage everywhere.  Exhausting the body, and using sugar and caffeine as stimulants to keep going, is like living in a filthy house.  Anyone will get depressed if they live in a filthy house.

Your body is very much like a dog.  In order for it to be happy, it needs to eat well, get regular exercise and fresh air, and be touched and caressed.  Your body needs everything that a dog needs.  If a dog is poorly fed, is not exercised, or isn’t petted, it will become depressed, and act out.  You are no different.

The physical touch element is very important.  If you are not in a relationship that provides physical touch, it is essential that you receive massages on a regular basis.

This is just basic, simple physical maintenance.  But without these simple measures, humans literally go crazy.  They become anxious, and depressed.  

Take care of your body.  You only get one, in this lifetime.

Today we ask you to meditate on the idea that wherever you are at this moment is the only place you can be.

Many people spend a lot of time wishing they were someplace else, doing something different.  They fantasize about the life they ought to be having right now instead of this one.

Everyone wants to win the lottery and live in paradise.

It is a silly way to be — like the child who wants to live in Candyland, where he never has to do homework again and feasts on candy all day long.

Really, you know, such an existence would become very tiresome.  It would not take long for it to become tiresome.

You see, it is in the nature of all things to create.  It is just a fundamental quality that all living things possess.  Life creates new life.

Higher life forms, such as yourselves, do not only create through procreation, but express themselves in myriad ways.  Art, science, mathematics, medicine, engineering, architecture — humans have a deep desire to create, to build, to invent.  This is the way of things.

So to pluck someone out of their lives, set them down in paradise, and say “You never have to do anything again” — really this would not be a good thing.  Eventually that person would grow weary and want to create something.  Such a person might even act self-destructively, because self-destructive behavior is a cry for help from someone who has forgotten how to create in a positive and healthy way.

Please know that it is good to be you, where you are right now.  From the place in which you currently stand, you have the ability to create.  The main thing you can start with is learning how to create a good experience in the present moment.

Even if you are doing taxes, it is possible to create a good experience out of that.  You can create a good experience sitting in traffic, you can create a good experience buying groceries.  

One of the easiest ways to learn how to create a good experience is by consciously creating a good experience for someone else.  So — you are going to be very warm and friendly to the clerk at the store; or you are very conscious and attentive with your coworkers.  Or with your accountant as he or she helps you with your taxes.  

When you consciously desire to create a good experience for someone else, automatically this mirrors back and helps to create a good experience for you.  That is the way of things.

If you can learn to create a good experience for yourself in the present moment, where you are right now, then you will be free of the childish fantasy to live in Candyland.  And then you can really start to create.

Today we ask you to celebrate someone or something that you feel celebratory about.

Humans, on the whole, tend to focus on what is wrong with the world, other people, and themselves.

But really, there is so much to celebrate.

The restaurant where you eat a good meal — celebrate the chef!  Celebrate the owners of the restaurant, and the staff, and all the people responsible for bringing you this excellent food.  The people who farmed the vegetables, and raised the animals.

If you watch a good movie or TV show, celebrate all the people whose work brought you this experience.  The actors, the writers, the director, the producers, the cameramen, the people who rigged the lights and built the sets and made costumes and composed music.  If you like what they have done, celebrate them.

Celebrate the clerk at the grocery store who always smiles at you.  The person who delivers the mail.

Celebrate the teachers who help your children.

Celebrate the doctors and dentists who work to keep your body healthy and who help you when you are in need.

Celebrate the bus drivers and toll booth operators, the sanitation workers, plumbers, electricians, all the people who help keep the cities going.

Celebrate the mothers and fathers, the grandmothers and grandfathers.

Celebrate the therapists and healers.

Chances are this past week, someone did something for you that is worthy of celebration.

So many deserve celebration.  Make celebrities of them.

Last, but never least, celebrate yourselves.  You made it through another week.  There were ups and downs.  But look at the moments where you did well.  When you kept going even when it was not easy to do so.  You, too, deserve celebration.  

Once in a while it is so very good to stop being down on everything and just throw a great big party.

Today we ask that you meditate on effective ways to restore calm and sanity in the face of an insane world.

Much of what most people take in, via the news, electronic media, or through their friends and families is panic inducing.  Everything is a cause for fear and panic.  The world is doomed, the country is doomed, everyone is doomed.

No wonder everyone is half-mad, going around thinking thoughts like that.

Unfortunately, panic breeds panic.  Stress breeds stress.  The more you panic about things, the more you create panic-inducing events in your life.  For example, panicking because you are running late to an event can directly cause you to make poor decisions that will wind up with you arriving even later.  Panicking about doing things the wrong way actually makes you more prone to making errors.

On the whole, unless King Kong is running toward you, panic is a useless response.  How often in your modern lives is a “fight-or-flight” actually needed?  Yet many people live as if King Kong is about to smash them at any moment.

Once the “panic” reaction begins, it can be very difficult to defuse it.  This is why it is useful to practice techniques when you are not in a fearful, panicky state that will help you calm down when panic arises.  The key is not to react in such a way that will make matters worse, as panic almost always does.

Here are two effective tools:

The first is to take ten slow, deep breaths, counting each breath.  This restores balance to the adrenalized brain and body, allowing space for clear thought to occur.

The second is a technique to use if you are witnessing another person panicking.  A very effective way to disrupt the panic pattern is to do something very silly.  Make a silly face and jump on one foot.  Make silly noises.  Be like a character in a Monty Python skit. 

This will startle the other person out of the panicked state.  As soon as the person smiles or laughs, the panic is essentially over.

It is good to practice these techniques in advance.

Again, unless Godzilla is coming toward you breathing fire, please know that panic is not a useful response to 99%  of stressful events.

Today we ask that you listen to your body.

Many people do not really understand their bodies.  Bodies are either taken for granted, or become sources of great frustration when they break down.

The body is essentially a highly intelligent biological machine, whose complexity far exceeds anything within the realm of your current scientific knowledge.  Within this intelligent biological machine resides your consciousness — that which is really “you,” and which will continue to exist even when the biological machine you reside in ultimately wears down and ceases to function.

Your body allows you to participate in three dimensional existence.  It has many functions, some of which transcend what you would consider purely physical.  Not only does your body allow you to exist in the three-dimensional world, but it plays a key role in the creation of your experience of that world.

For most people, the body is like a highly advanced car that you ride around in, but have lost the owner’s manual and have no idea how to properly drive.

Your body is always trying to communicate with you.  It tells you what it likes and doesn’t like to eat (hint: indigestion means it didn’t like it).  It tells you when it needs rest (hint: you get tired).  And it tells you when you are carrying around a great deal of stress, through a myriad of physical symptoms.  You may find these symptoms unpleasant, but don’t blame your body.  It’s just trying to communicate with you as best it can.

The issue is, your body responds to subconscious cues as well as conscious ones.  This is where much confusion lies.  Your body does what the mind tells it to — but not just the conscious part.  Your body responds to a host of beliefs that are only semi-conscious; core beliefs that have become part of your mental operating system, and continually broadcast messages to your body.

You have no idea how strong these core beliefs are, in terms of how they affect your body.  They can impact your body even on a genetic level.

Of course, what is done can be undone.  Change your core beliefs, and you may experience radical physical changes.

For example: a core belief like “I am not safe in the world” can cause the physical body to shut down as a safety response.  Chronic fatigue is one possible result — if you are not safe in the world, best to stay inside all the time.

The mind really is that powerful.  We’re not kidding about this.

So: if there are chronic problems in the body, look to the mind.  Look to the core beliefs.

Then you can open the owner’s manual on this miraculous vehicle that you live in and really learn how to drive it.

Unearth your core beliefs.  Then question them.  Ask if they are true.

Listen to your body.  If it is speaking up, it is asking you to look at your mind.

Today we ask that you look at an area of your life that is very, very stressful for you.  Just thinking about it makes your body tense up.

Once you feel this tension, or clenching, around that area, here is something you can do.

Visualize this troubled area in your life as an object.  Maybe it looks like a person you are upset with.  Maybe it looks like you, or a part of your body.  Maybe it is your bank account.  Maybe it is more of an abstract shape in your mind — a sharp rock, for example.  Whatever comes to mind.

Imagine that this thing is small enough to fit in the palm of your hand.  You are clenching it very tightly.  Your hand is balled up into a tight fist around it.  The sensation in your palm is not pleasant — hot, and uncomfortable.  Your muscles and bones are very tight.

Now: you are standing over a hole in the ground.  It is a deep hole.  The earth inside is very black and moist.

Slowly unclench your fingers, and drop the object into a hole in the ground.

Feel your feelings as you do this.  Really let it go.

When the object has dropped into the hole, cover it up.  There is a mound of moist, cool earth to fill the hole with.  You can use your hands, feet, or a shovel to fill in the hole.  You are burying the object in the earth.

Feel the cool, solid ground beneath you.  Let the sensation of coolness rise up into the hand that had been clutching the object.  Feel your muscles and bones relaxing.  Your whole body cools off.

Holding on to things never does any good.  It resolves nothing, and causes tension in the body and mind.  If you really want to help this troubled part of your life — let it go.  Let it go into the earth.  That is how you can best resolve things.  It may be counterintuitive, but you will see.