Today we ask that you release your need to control other people.

Most of the people reading these words probably are very open-minded and do not think of themselves as “controlling.”  And yet you might be surprised.

Really, any time you want someone to think differently or act differently, this is a desire to control that person.  When you think, ” I wish so-and-so wouldn’t do that!” or “I wish so-and-so wouldn’t act that way!”  This is a desire to control.

It is natural to have expectations of people.  But it is unhealthy to be attached to those expectations — to really need someone else to think or act in a particular way that suits you.

The healthy person is someone who is really, truly at ease with other people being the way they are.  This does not mean, be at ease with someone who is actively causing harm to another person.  But in 99% of situations, being at ease with someone else’s way of thinking and acting will not cause harm to another person.

We would like to say that if you perceive someone’s behavior to be self-destructive, unless it is really an extreme situation it is not your place to interfere or control.  Trying to control a self-destructive person usually just backfires and makes things worse.

If you do not like someone, that is okay.  You do not have to like everyone.  It is okay to be annoyed by people.  But even if other people are annoying, it is healthiest for you to release your need to control them and make them less annoying.

Some people really are okay with other people being the way they are.  Such people tend to be made very welcome in many places.  It is such a great relief to be around someone who is okay with who you are! Who asks nothing of you with the weight of expectation, or guilt.  Who can just be with you.  Aren’t those people wonderful?

When you let go of the need to control people, you become one of those wonderful ones.  A person with whom it is so very easy to be yourself.  And you may find that when you are less controlling, other people actually become friendlier, and more amenable.  It is a magical thing.

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