Today we ask that you look back on your life, and reflect on an incident that seemed very uncomfortable or unpleasant for you as it was happening, but that you can now see was “for the best.”

You have all had these experiences.  Times in your life when your desires were blocked, or frustrated.  You did not get something you dearly wanted.  You suffered.  You felt that life was treating you unfairly.  

There was that boy or girl you really liked, who did not return the feeling.  There was that job you really wanted, that you did not get.

Can you look back now, from an older, wiser perspective, and see that these “failures” were in fact a good thing?  How, if you’d gotten what you wanted, you would not be the person you are today.  Perhaps you can even see that the fulfillment of those failed desires would not have been healthy for you.

Failures are not a mistake.  Please know this.  They can feel painful, to be sure.  But if you are capable of perspective in looking back at your earlier failures, perhaps you can imagine that your current frustrations are not so bad after all.  

Maybe you do not get what you want because something far better awaits you.

Today we ask that you practice clarity.

Many of you undertake activities without having a clear understanding of why you are doing them.  You believe you do things because you “have to.”

This is simply not true.  You don’t “have to” do anything.  You do things because they have a purpose.  You eat, because eating has a purpose.  You may select certain kinds of foods to eat; that has a purpose.  You brush your teeth, because that has a purpose.  You could choose not to do these things, and indeed, people sometimes do.  When people fast from eating, for example, that has a purpose.

So really, you do not “have to” do things.  There is a purpose behind every single action you undertake.  It is a very healthy thing to consciously look at your actions and be clear to yourself about why you are doing them.  This is what we mean by practicing clarity.

Sometimes, if you do this work in earnest, you may uncover motives behind your actions that are quite surprising to you.  It is always very good to know why you do things.

Today we ask that you laugh at yourself.

It is good in life never to take yourself too seriously.  In fact, one might say that it is always a rule that the moment you take yourself too seriously, you are in for a rude awakening.

For the world you live in has a great sense of humor.  If you take yourself too seriously, there is always a Harpo Marx waiting in the wings to show up and honk a horn at you and make you feel very silly indeed.

So today, be your own Harpo.  Honk a horn at yourself.  Especially notice if you are feeling very serious and intense.  If you are making some sort of very strong, serious argument.  That is the best time to wake up, and laugh at yourself.  If you don’t, someone else will.

Life is not a serious thing, truly.

Today we ask that you select one activity and do it with your full attention.

It can be as simple as eating a piece of food.  If you are eating something, eat with your full attention.  Notice everything about the experience of eating the food.  The taste, texture, and aroma.  The sensation of chewing, and swallowing.  Take your time.  Savor the experience.  

It can be taking a shower or bath, and really feeling all the physical sensations around the water, and your body.

It can be playing with an animal or child, with your full attention in the experience.  

It can be listening to a loved one speak, with your full attention.  

It can be listening to music, with your full attention.  

Whatever it is, you do not need to strain to do it.  It should be something that you find pleasurable.

For a few minutes, be completely present in what you are doing.  Do not “multitask.”  Do not be thinking about the next thing to do, or what will happen later, or what you should be doing instead of this.

Just be where you are.  Be present.  Pay attention.   And enjoy it!

Even one minute of full presence in any activity can do immeasurable good.

Today we ask you to drop your sad story about something.

What does this mean?

Most people carry around stories about how life has wronged them.  Some like to trot out these sad stories for other people to hear: “My son did this,” “My ex-husband did that,” “You wouldn’t believe what my stupid boss did,” “That jerk at the credit card company,” “That guy who overcharged me.”  And so on, and so on.  

Many people really do love being the guests of honor at their own pity party.

Even if you do not recount your wrongs with other people, you may do so in private.  Some people polish their grievances like gem stones.  They bring them out and relive the hurt every day.  They pray over their grievances like a rosary.

If you had any notion of how destructive this behavior really is, you would think twice about it.

It is as destructive to your health and well-being as a drug habit — and just as addictive.

This is the truth.  It is not harmless.  It drains you of life force.  We do not say this lightly.

We know it is not easy to let go of these stories — especially the ones you have been carrying around for years.  The well-polished ones that you meditate on every day.

It is best to start with the small ones.  The little annoyances.  The petty grievances.

Dropping these stories is like changing your diet.  It is just something you will no longer indulge in, like sugary processed foods or hard liquor.  Please understand that complaining or dwelling on past grudges — even in your own mind — is far worse for you than a Twinkie.

When you find yourself dwelling on a grudge against someone, SNAP OUT OF IT.

Sometimes the best way is to jolt your physical body.  Go for a walk or jog if you can, or even just do some quick exercises at home.  It can be as simple as jumping up and down, or even just clapping your hands loudly.

We are not asking you to repress these feelings.  By all means, get it out — once or twice.  Write it down.  Talk to a therapist, or a trusted friend.

The behavior we are describing is the dwelling.  If you find yourself repeating the same sad story to different people over and over again, this is a warning sign.  If you sit there thinking compulsively about things that happened to you many years ago — question this.

Also, try to put things in perspective.  Certainly we do not ask you to condone abuse.  But little things, petty things — these can be dropped.  And you will feel much better for it.

Whenever possible, it far better to clear the air with someone than to silently be angry or resentful toward them.  This does not mean you should aggressively attack someone.  But if you possess the presence of mind to simply get something off your chest, it is far better to do so than to go around polishing the stone of your anger toward that person, or complaining about that person to others.

This is difficult work, we know.  But dropping this habit is truly like dropping an unhealthy addiction.

Today we ask that you meditate on the word “queer.”

This word is very charged in your society, for it carries with it the connotation of homosexuality.  Yet the word itself has a much broader meaning.  

What is queer and strange in your reality is simply something that causes you to stop and pay attention.  To wake up.

What do we mean by this?

Say you are driving on the highway, and suddenly you see a purple cow trotting across the road.

That would be queer, wouldn’t it?

One does not ordinarily see a purple cow on the highway.  You might even pull over, get out of your car, and take a closer look at the purple cow.  You might take pictures, and tell your friends.

If you did not see the purple cow, you would have simply continued on your way, driving your car, your mind preoccupied with all the cares of your day.

The purple cow stopped you.  It arrested your consciousness.  It made you more present, more awake in your reality.

That is the power of “queerness.”  That which is queer makes you more present.  It wakes you up.

Sometimes humans feel an aversion to queer things, particularly things that strike you as freakish or ugly.  And yet within that aversion is a seed of attraction.  Hence your history of “freak shows,” and the way you are compelled to stare at freakish things even as another part of you wishes to avert your eyes.

Humans are very often afraid of queerness.  Things which strike the human mind as uncanny, strange, or supernatural are queer.

So today we ask that you sit with this word, queer.  See what comes up for you.  Especially notice any feeling of discomfort.

Please know that what is queer in your world is quite wonderful.  Anything that causes you to be more present is something to be celebrated.  Embrace queerness — both in the world, and inside yourself.

Today we ask that you speak out about a secret.

Almost all of you keep secrets.

Most of the secrets you keep have to do with you.  Things that you hide from the world, because you feel ashamed or guilty.  Secrets you hide from your spouses, your friends, your loved ones — even yourself.  Secrets that you feel terribly ashamed of.

Today, we ask that you confess.  We do not ask that you confess to any other person, although you are free to “make confession” to another person if you wish.  All we ask is that you speak your secret aloud.  Just speak it aloud.  No one else needs to hear it.

The main thing is to “get it off your chest.”  Secrets are suffocating.  They literally cut off the life force.  “Getting something off your chest” is a very real phenomenon.

Speak it aloud.  Or write it down, and rip up the paper.  Get it off your chest.  You have nothing to be ashamed of, in truth.

Today we ask that you spend some time doing something that you love with all your heart.

It does not have to be anything special.  It could be playing a game you really enjoy, or watching part of a favorite movie.  All that matters is that you are doing something that you love with all your heart.

Many of you spend your days doing things that you do not love, because you feel it is your duty to do so.  We understand that you feel you have no choice in these matters.  But it is our perception that endeavors done half-heartedly tend to have half-hearted results.  And so humans waste a good deal of time half-heartedly creating half-hearted things.

If you look even at the objects around you, it is easy to tell what is half-heartedly made.  Half-heartedly made things tend to have a shoddy or disposable quality.  Whereas objects made with a whole heart have an art to them.  You can feel the great love and care that went into their design.

That is why we say that five minutes spent doing something wholeheartedly is of greater benefit to you than five days spent doing something out of half-hearted obligation.

Take this to heart.

Today we ask that you give someone the benefit of the doubt.

What does this mean?

Ordinarily many of you walk through life making snap judgments about other people.  They may be people you know, like family members or co-workers.  Or they may be people you don’t know, like clerks in stores, telemarketers, or drivers in traffic.  They may be politicians, or public figures.

So we ask that one time today, as you notice yourself making a snap judgment about someone — stop and give that person the benefit of the doubt.

If someone is behaving in a way that you find fault with, simply imagine that this person is having a bad day.  Or even a bad month.  Or year.

You know what is it to go through a rough patch.  You know what it’s like to behave in ways you do not feel so proud of, because you are experiencing stress.  Don’t you wish that other people would give you the benefit of the doubt when you behave in those ways?

Today, give this gift to someone else.  And notice how you feel when you do.