Today we ask that you look at the ways in which you are addicted to approval.

All humans instinctively crave approval, the same way they crave sugar.

The human body requires a certain amount of glucose in order to survive and function.  That is why it is evolutionarily advantageous for humans to crave sugary foods.

It is the same with approval.  If a child’s parent does not approve of the child, the child may not be cared for, and thus will die.  Back in tribal days, if your tribe did not approve of you, you were cast out.  This was usually a death sentence.

So — craving sugar and craving approval are equally hard-wired into the human body and mind.

The problem is, this instinctive craving leads to addiction.  People become addicted to sugar, and consume so much of it that it makes them very ill.  People become addicted to approval, and also consume so much it that it makes them ill, in a different way.

Sugar addiction results in a weak, bloated body.

Approval addiction results in a weak, bloated ego.

You can see this happen to celebrities, and the rich and famous.  They are deeply addicted to approval, and consume so much of it that it makes them very sick in their egos.  They can become quite monstrous. They also suffer terrible withdrawal symptoms the moment they are out of the spotlight, when they cannot suck down great quantities of special attention, and approval.

Just as children are often conditioned to develop an unhealthy relationship with sugar, most children are conditioned to be approval junkies.  The educational system plays into this, by doling out grades.  Many of you may know straight-A students who have difficulty adjusting to life in the “real world.”

One of the most powerful steps you can take to radically improve your physical health is to master your instinctive sugar craving.  There is nothing wrong with the occasional indulgence, but too much sugar is simply not good for you.  The less you consume, the less you will crave.  You do not need very much at all to function well.  In time, it is possible to cultivate a healthy relationship with sugar, where you are no longer completely at the mercy of a mindless, instinctive craving, but instead consume sugar consciously, as a choice.  This is not easy, but it is very possible.

It is the same with approval.  In order to have a strong, healthy sense of self, you must liberate yourself, once and for all, from the addiction to special attention, approval, and external validation.

This is even harder than getting over the sugar addiction.

To understand whether or not you are an approval addict, first you must examine your behavior.

You must ask — do I do things out of a deep, true desire, or do I do things to get special attention and approval? 

How much does my need for approval factor into my decision-making?  

How much am I motivated, on a daily basis, by my need for approval?   Would I still be motivated to do what I do, if special attention and approval weren’t part of the equation?

If you really examine this, you might be quite alarmed.  

As with sugar, some approval is necessary to thrive in life.  If you are creating things, building things, or doing meaningful work, then it is important that others appreciate what you do, in order to survive in this plane.  A business cannot thrive if everyone hates what it produces.  

But approval is like sugar.  You don’t need nearly as much as you think you do.  You don’t need nearly as much as your craving would indicate.  Truly, this is so.

If you need constant approval, then you will behave like a junkie.  You will constantly need special attention, and suffer terrible withdrawal symptoms when you don’t get it.  People who compulsively post on social networking sites can be like this, particularly if they are posting about the tiny minutia of their lives.  

Someone who behaves this way does not have a healthy sense of self.  It is like having a diabetic ego.

You can wean yourself off the approval addiction the same way you do a sugar addiction.  You stop being a sugar addict by becoming conscious and mindful around what you are eating, and why.  You stop being an approval addict by becoming conscious and mindful around what you are doing, and why.  The more conscious and mindful you are, the less compulsively you behave.  This is the true meaning of freedom.

There are few greater freedoms in this life than freedom from the addiction to approval.  

Today we ask that you stay in tune.

The human body, and its energy field, is very much like a musical instrument.  In some ways it is exactly like a musical instrument.

Those of you who play musical instruments know that it is essential to tune your instrument.  With stringed instruments, like the guitar or violin, you must tune every time you play.  All musical instruments require tuning.

When a musical instrument is out of tune, it produces disharmonious sounds.  It does not matter how beautifully made the instrument is.  A Stradivarius violin, out of tune, sounds awful.

All human bodies are splendid instruments, far surpassing any Stradivarius.  It is easy to perceive this perfection when you look at a newborn infant — all those perfect, exquisite parts.

But most people do not know how to keep their splendid physical instruments in tune.

So almost everyone is in a state of being out of tune.  Physical and mental illnesses are symptoms of the body being out of tune.  But really, the vast majority of all humans once they are out of childhood, are out of tune.  

The causes for this are numerous.  Some of it is related to basic maintenance — eating, exercising, resting.  Some of it is related to abusing your instrument with self-attack and self-judgment.  Some of it has to do with your environment.

Basically, if you were always beating up a Stradivarius, if you never put it away in its case, if you kept it constantly exposed to harsh elements, if you never tuned it — this is a little like the way most people treat themselves.  So, you have this beautiful Stradivarius, but you wouldn’t even know it, so battered about and out of tune it has become.

For those of you who are working to take good care of yourselves, this is like healing and fixing your instrument on a structural level.  This is basic repair.  And this is very good.  Your instrument will definitely start sounding better.

To really get your instrument to sing, you need to learn how to correctly tune it, and you must tune it often.

This is why we always advocate meditation.  Meditation is a classic tuning practice.

Practices like exercising outdoors, doing yoga and tai chi, energy work, massage, acupuncture — all these modalities are classic tuning practices for the human body.  

Every single one of you has an amazing body.  This is absolutely true.  A Stradivarius is always a Stradivarius, no matter what condition it is in.  And every one of you is a Stradivarius.  You are all miraculous beings, in miraculous bodies.

It is entirely possible for every one of you to repair yourselves, polish yourselves up, and get in tune.  Even in an aged body, this is possible.  It is natural that an older body does not sing in the exact same way as a  young body; but an older body can sing in a different way that is no less beautiful, and often even more beautiful.  The Stradivarius is an old violin, is it not?

The first step is to deeply love this body of yours.  

When you love something, you naturally want to take good care of it.  For those of you who play instruments, you love your instruments, don’t you?  You have a natural desire to keep it in good shape, and in tune.  Otherwise you cannot play it.  

Your body is very much like an instrument.  It can play beautifully — but you must keep it in tune.  

Today we ask that you cultivate stability.

If you can just do this, then everything else will fall into place.

Stable means, non-reactive.  In chemistry, a stable element remains neutral and non-volatile in most environments.  It takes a great deal of energy to trigger a volatile reaction in a stable element.  Unstable elements, conversely, are easily volatile and explosive.  They are dangerous to have around.

People are like this.  You all probably know stable people, and unstable people.  Stable people tend to stay calm.  It takes a lot to trigger reactivity.  Unstable people are always flying off the handle, often at nothing.

As with chemistry, stable people tend to have a stabilizing effect on those they interact with.  Unstable people create volatility and drama wherever they go.

It is okay if you are an unstable person.  Do not judge yourself for it.  Most likely you have been exposed to a lot of unstable energy in your life.  Maybe your parents were unstable, or you have lived in unstable environments.  It is natural that exposure to unstable energy breeds instability.

The good news is, unstable people can, with practice, cultivate stability.  They can become stable.

And this stability is not dependent on external circumstances.

A stable person, like a stable element, tends to remain stable no matter what is going on outside.  Things have to get pretty explosive for a stable person to really heat up.

Meditation is an ancient and highly effective method for cultivating stability.  The simple practice of choosing to sit in one place for a set period of time, observing one’s thoughts without reacting to them, creates a deep foundation of stability.  This is why meditating monks exude an aura of calmness.

Grounding the body by spending time outdoors, or doing stabilizing physical exercise like yoga, or tai chi, greatly helps to cultivate stability.

Many forms of massage, energy work, therapy, and acupuncture/acupressure cultivate stability.

For those of you with a lot of life drama and problems, life feels like you are always putting out fires.  You put out one fire after another.  You are always running low on water, so the fires just smolder.  They do not really go out all the way.  Often the moment you turn your back on a fire, it just lights up again.

Sound familiar?

Cultivating stability is like tapping into a deep reservoir of cool, clear water.  This source is inexhaustible.  It is easy to put out any fire, and the fire stays out.  Moreover, because the ground is well-watered, it is harder for fires to start in the first place.  You are better shielded.

Even if all around you, people are running around screaming because they are “on fire,” you always feel connected to your deep reservoir.  You are stable.  It takes a whole lot to ignite you, and even if this happens, the fire cannot last long or do much damage, because of your connection to that deep, cool reservoir.  

When you really connect to that reservoir, it creates a positive flow of stable energy in your life, which you can then share with others.  You can share your cool, clear water with others who need it.  

Many of you are aware that your world is heating up right now.  There is a lot of volatility.  That is why cultivating stability is the single most useful and intelligent thing you can do, not just for you personally, but for all humanity.

Sometimes, when you stop scrambling to put out all the little fires in your life as you turn your energy toward tapping into the deep reservoir, the little fires appear to grow bigger.  This is normal, and it will pass.  

You will know that you have tapped into the deep reservoir when you begin to experience feelings of deep peace and well-being no matter what is happening in your life drama.  Even if such moments are very fleeting, this is an excellent sign.  Keep doing what you are doing.  

Today we ask that you “love your enemies.”

This is an old and oft-repeated message, one that many hear, but do not understand.

To many, it sounds weak and passive.  It sounds like rolling over and being a doormat.  Or it sounds holier-than-thou — something saints may do, but isn’t for ordinary folk.

It may sound like a very nice thing to do, in some pollyanna-ish reality that does not exist.  But in this world, love your enemies?  Not happening.

You do not understand.

Hatred is an energetic trap.  When you experience feelings of hatred around an “enemy,” you are actually locking and blocking your own energetic flow.

You can see this when you look at people who get caught up in feuds.  Think of stories of individuals caught up in situations where they seek vengeance.  All stories about mobsters revolve around this.  You can see that hatred breeds an endless cycle of violence and destruction.

You do not have to be a member of the mafia to get caught in such traps.

Ordinary people who sit around hating their bosses, or their exes, are also in a trap.  They are blocking their own energy.  These thoughts are like an energetic quagmire, a sinkhole, in which people can sometimes get stuck for their whole lives.

That is why “loving your enemy” is not a nicey-nice thing.

It is an act of tremendous power.  It is a “get out of jail free” ticket.  It is the key to the door of your prison.

Loving your enemy does not mean “trust your enemy.”  If you know someone to be untrustworthy, by no means trust them.

Loving your enemy also in no way means “put up with abuse.”

It just means, can you see this person as a frail and flawed human.  Can you see this person as the mess he is.  It means, can you say a heartfelt prayer for this person.

Again — it doesn’t mean trust them, or put up with abuse.

It just means, seeing them as humans, not monsters.

It means, asking a higher power to send light to this person, even if you cannot.

If you do this, you are freeing up a great deal of stuck energy in your life.

To learn to love your enemies is to liberate yourself.  And there is nothing weak or passive about it.  In fact, it is one of the strongest actions a person can take.

Today we ask you to look at the magical nature of your reality.

Many of you think that magic is limited to storybooks and movies.  But this is not so.  Your world is as magical as anything in a movie.

It is just that you do not perceive it as such.

People are always casting spells, in your reality.

Advertisements are spells.  Billboards are spells.  They are spells that hypnotize people into wanting things that they do not really need.

The creation of celebrities is a form of magic, in which an ordinary human is imbued, for a time, with special powers — elevated to a sphere above mere mortals.  This is of course an illusion — a “glamour,” in magical terms.  And isn’t that a word you associate with celebrities?  They are “glamorous.”

Most of you understand that if you saw a celebrity without the clothes and hair and make-up, doing something mundane like going to the bathroom — the “glamour” would pop, and you would see that he is no different from you.  

Al stories, especially in mass media, are spells.  Books and films and TV shows are spells.  It is possible to create much that is positive through these spells.  Consider the great advances in human tolerance promoted by TV shows over the decades.  A simple children’s show, like “Sesame Street,” can be a powerful spell for positive change, by teaching children to embrace people of different races.

Words are spells.  This is the basis of all wizardry — understanding the power of words.  Anything you see in print has power.  What you read on the internet has power.  Those of you who write blogs — understand that you are creating spells.  Words have power.

There is a dimension of deep sacredness that many modern humans have lost.  This is of course the power and appeal of the world religions — in that they connect people to this dimension of sacredness.  

But the world religions are steeped in old magic, and to the degree that their texts and clerics promote intolerance, and a belief that the divine is wrathful and judgmental, this is very damaging for humanity.

“By their fruits shall you know them” — this is a Biblical quote, and it is true.  To the degree that any religious practice promotes peace, well-being and harmony, you may know it as good magic.  To the degree that religious practitioners are intolerant, violent, or miserable in their lives, you may know it as destructive magic.  

There is an unseen world of energy in reality, that some of you can partially perceive.

If you could perceive it fully and at all times, you would see the there is a very real energetic exchange that occurs when people watch movies and TV, watch advertising, read things on the internet, or go to church.  This energetic exchange is not so different from what you might see in a “Harry Potter” story.  This is no exaggeration.  

The more conscious you are of the magical nature of your reality, the more you will begin to pay attention to the way you feel energetically around different people, places, and when you take in information and stories on TV or the internet.  You may become more sensitive to the spell-like aspects of reality, in a healthy way.  And you will become more conscious about the spells you are putting out into the world, through your words and creations.

It is good for you to know how powerful you really are, so that you may use your power to create good.

Today we ask that you really be honest with yourself about why you do things.

At any moment, you are acting either out of love, or fear.

Even if you are not taking action — your inaction is rooted in love, or fear.

When you are motivated by love, it means that you are driven by something that is felt deep within.  You really believe in what you are doing.  Wild horses could not stop you from doing this thing.  You are passionate, and committed.  You would do this even if you weren’t getting paid, even if there were no ego reward.  You would still do it.  

When you are motivated by fear, it means that you do things out of guilt or obligation.  It means you do things “for the money.”  It means you do things to win other people’s approval.  It means you do things for ego gratification and status.

If you did not get money, status, or approval for what you are doing, there is no way you would do it.

Many people are a muddle.  They want to do things out love, but fear gets in the way.

This is like the person who becomes a doctor out of a real desire to help people, but then becomes compromised as his work is more and more about money and status.  Maybe the doctor makes choices that are not in his integrity as a healer, but win him approval from higher-ups and benefit his bank account.

Many people find themselves compromised in these ways.  The more fear creeps in as your prime motivator, the more miserable life tends to be.

That is why it is essential to be clear with yourself about why you do things.

There is nothing wrong with making money.  However, you should never feel that you are prostituting yourself.

Most prostitution in this world has nothing to do with sex.

Prostitution is really just the commoditization of something sacred.

It is possible to be an actual prostitute, i.e. a sex worker, and not prostitute yourself.  

This is possible when the sex worker perceives that what he or she does is a sacred act, and believes in what he or she is doing.  Then it is out of love, not fear.

Admittedly, this is not common.  But it is possible, and does happen sometimes.

Your life is sacred.  Your time is sacred.  Your energy is sacred.  Your talents and abilities are sacred.

There is sacredness in everything.  Helping someone do their taxes is a sacred act.  Changing a child’s diapers is a sacred act.  Scrubbing a floor is a sacred act.

When you believe your life has no value, then you trade it for things that are meaningless.  A big TV or a luxury car — these things mean nothing when you do not value yourself.

Do what you do out of love.  Sense the sacredness in what you do.  That will imbue your life with meaning, and purpose.

Please do not do things out of guilt, obligation, or just to win money, status, or approval; especially when it feels bad, or out of your integrity.  When you do this, it means you do not value yourself.  No joy will come of it, in the end.  

Today we ask that you beware perfectionism.

Perfectionism is an insidious energy.  It is very destructive, and a source of terrible misery.

Perfectionism is life-denying.  It rejects life as it is at this moment, in all its wonderful mess, and complexity.

Perfectionism is tyrannical.  All dictators and tyrants are perfectionists.  They have a vision of a perfect world, and are so obsessed with it that murdering people to achieve their vision is simply part of the equation.

Perfectionism breeds paralysis, blockage, anxiety, depression, and disease.

People who consider themselves very open-minded and spiritual often have a huge blind spot when it comes to perfectionism.

Such people can become such purists in their way of life that they would put religious fundamentalists to shame.  Their way of eating is the best, their way of parenting is the best, they are cleaner and more environmental and more natural.  How critical and judgmental and suffocating this can be.  There is not much difference between such a person and a religious fanatic.

Beware of perfectionism.  Beware of any person who insists that their way of being is superior, especially when that person is humorless about it.  Anyone who lacks a sense of humor cannot be trusted.

Everyone needs to relax.

Everyone needs to know that they are okay no matter what.

Everyone needs to know that it’s okay to make mistakes, to fail, and to fall flat on your face.

Everyone needs to know that you cannot be a 100% perfectly healthy environmentally pure enlightened being.

Everyone needs to know that perfect parenting is impossible.

Perfectionism is impossible because you are already perfect.

Right now, in all your messiness, you are already perfect.

So please relax, and learn to enjoy life.

Life is messy.  That’s the fun of it.

For so many of you, the best thing would be to really learn to relax.

Today we ask that you stop arguing.

What does this mean?

It just means, don’t argue.

Almost all argument is a waste of energy.

When someone has a viewpoint strongly in opposition to yours, arguing with them will almost never convince them that you are right.  It usually just makes them more intractable and rigid.  

The best way to be is like water.

Water is a powerful substance.  It wears down mountains and carves deep canyons.  It can pass around and beneath any closed door.  It wields vast power.

Water is fluid.  There is nothing rigid about water.

Rigid things break.  Water is unbreakable.

So when someone comes at you with beliefs you don’t like, don’t take a rigid stance.  Don’t tell them that they’re wrong and give them a lecture.

Just say they could be right, and go about your business.  

This doesn’t mean they are right, and you are not saying so.  All you are saying is they could be right.  

Telling someone they could be right is like giving them a wonderful gift.  Often people are so delighted to be given this gift, that as soon as you give it to them, they relax.  The moment you don’t argue, the moment you say “You could be right” — watch what happens.  Their whole attitude may change.  They may even be able to listen to you now.  They would never have listened to you when you were arguing with them.  

Stop arm wrestling with people.  It is a waste of energy.

Think of all the good things you could do with that arm, if you weren’t busy arm wrestling with other people.

This doesn’t mean, be a doormat and just go along with whatever people tell you.  

It just means, conserve your energy.  Use your energy wisely.  The more you dedicate energy to creating positive internal change within yourself, the less you will care what other people say, or think, or do.  

Today we ask that you take good care of yourselves.

It is very hard for people to do this.

People are taught that taking good care of yourself is somehow lazy, or selfish.

Many believe that they must always put the needs of others ahead of their own.  Parents often believe this.  Not doing so is considered selfish and immoral.

Even people who are not invested in taking care of others, who may even appear to be very egotistical, often do not take good care of themselves at all.  People are taught that to get ahead in a dog-eat-dog world, you must always be working yourself to the point of exhaustion.  To keep going, you consume caffeine and stimulants.  Any other way of conducting yourself is considered lazy.

These beliefs are the direct cause of the vast majority of diseases that people in “first world” countries experience.

No wonder your health care systems are overtaxed.  No one knows how to take care of themselves, so countless people wind up with serious illnesses.

If you do not take good care of a plant, if you do not water it and give it good soil and the right amount of sunlight, it gets sick.  It withers.

If you do not take good care of your body and mind, you get sick.  You wither.

What does it mean to take good care of yourself?  What is the “water, good soil, and sunlight” for humans?

You absolutely must get adequate rest and sleep.  For most humans, this means eight hours at night.  If this is not possible, then daytime naps become a necessity; or else “catch-up” nights in which you get even more than eight hours.

Many protest that this simply is impossible.  But for many people, it would be quite possible if they got into the habit of winding down and going to sleep much earlier at night.  This would mean less exposure to TV or the internet at night, and not working before bedtime.  It means that if you know you must absolutely get up at 6 in the morning, that you start winding down and readying for bed by 9:30 at night.

Taking good care of yourself means taking real days off, and giving yourself “sabbaths” in which you truly and completely step away from work and unwind.

It means eating a healthy diet.  Most of you at this point have a good idea of what that means.  For many of you, simply taking the step of cutting out all sugary, high-glycemic index foods would instantly and immensely benefit your health.  

It means taking good care of your body with regular, daily exercise.  This does not need to be self-punishing in any way.  Going for daily walks is sufficient.  Taking a regular yoga class is sufficient.  You must keep the body moving if it is to stay healthy.  You cannot expect your body to be able to properly regulate itself if you sit in a chair all day.

Establishing a simple meditation practice of even ten minutes a day is greatly calming and nourishing for the body and mind.  It restores and creates mental health.

If people simply did the following things…

• Watched less TV/spent less time on the internet and slept more/took more naps
• Gave themselves real rest days, or “sabbaths”
• Cut sugary, high-glycemic foods out of their diet
• Got regular, daily exercise
• Meditated ten minutes a day

… then you would perceive a drastic reduction in physical and mental illness.

What’s more, taking good care of yourself makes you a better caretaker of others.  There is nothing noble about martyrdom.  Parents who wear themselves out and get physically and mentally ill sacrificing for their children are truly not helping anyone.   

Nor is there anything noble about working yourself to sickness and exhaustion in pursuit of your ambitions and goals.  If you achieve your goal at the price of your physical and mental health, this is a poor victory, in the end.

If people understood this, you would dwell in a much saner, healthier, more peaceful world.

Today we ask that you cultivate the ability to say “No.”

All healthy people have the ability to say “No.”

The inability to say “No” is always a sign of insecurity and instability.

Saying “No” is like having a strong immune system.  Being able to say “No” to things you don’t want means that you are good at protecting your energy.

So ask yourself: “Am I good at saying ‘No’?”

“Do I often feel overextended?”

“Do I agree to do things out of guilt or obligation?”

“Do I often do things I don’t really want to do?”

“Do I often feel like my space is being encroached upon or violated?”

If the answers are “Yes,” then you are someone who could benefit from saying “No” more often.

Of course, there are some people who say “No” too often, and thus close themselves off to healthy experiences.  There are certain grumpy, irascible people who say “No” to everything.

But people who can’t say “No” are far more common.  Such people are often concerned with being good, nice, and helpful, which is why they get overextended.

If you’re someone like this, one of the best things you can do for yourself is to learn how to say “No.”

Notice if you feel a lot of resistance to saying “No.”

You can imagine, in your mind, a scenario in which someone asks you to do something you don’t want to do, and you kindly but firmly say “No.”

Perhaps think about some situation in the past where you agreed to do something that in retrospect you probably shouldn’t have.  Imagine what it would have been like to say “No.”

If you are someone who suffers from chronic fatigue, or a weak immune system, learning to say “No” may directly benefit your physical health.

Learning to say “No” is really quite magical.

And it truly won’t make you rude or unkind.  If you can learn to say “No” from a strong, secure place, you will never be unkind to anyone (even if they say you are).  In reality, saying “No” will make you a much better friend, parent, family member, and worker.   It will make you a much stronger and more effective person.