are you obsessed with pain?

Today we ask that you let go of the obsession with pain and suffering.

A lot of people are very obsessed with pain and suffering.

And it is not hard to see why.  Pain is an overwhelming sensation.  When you feel a sharp physical pain in your body, it overwhelms everything else.  You cannot think clearly.  You might scream and shout.  You are paralyzed and frozen.

Small children and animals know how to deal with pain.  They are very good at getting trauma out of their systems.  They yell.  They shake.  They sleep it off.  

But when it is over, it’s over.

Not so with older humans.  They do not know how to fully discharge pain and trauma.  So it lingers on.

But there is a more insidious element.

As children, many humans learn that pain and suffering imbue you with a kind of specialness.  Religions frequently promote this idea.  Beyond this, parents often respond to a child in pain by giving the child special attention — maybe even ice cream, or candy.  You have all seen children who exaggerate their pain and upset in order to get attention, especially from parents who are distracted.

This can create a negative pattern in which people subconsciously wish to create and prolong pain and suffering in their lives, because they believe it makes them special, virtuous, heroic, and worthy of love and attention.

Obviously, no one consciously wants pain and suffering.

But if as a child, you learned that the most special people on Earth — saints, martyrs, holy men and women — all endured horrible pain and suffering, this will create a powerful subconscious belief that “pain makes you special.”

If you are someone whose life is very dominated by lingering experiences of physical or emotional pain, it may be useful to examine the ways in which you were brought up to believe that pain makes people special, virtuous, noble, and worthy of extra love and attention.

It may not be comfortable to examine these beliefs, but if you truly desire relief, you must do so.

We would encourage you to notice your reactivity around the following statements:

There is nothing special about pain.

There is nothing morally superior about people who suffer a lot.

People who endure a lot of pain are not better than people who don’t deal with much pain in their lives.

There is nothing noble or virtuous about enduring pain.

Please notice if you feel reactive, or even angry, around these statements.

If you do, it means you have a subconscious attachment to pain.

If you wish to experience less pain, then sit with these statements until you can perceive that they are true.

Pain and suffering do not make men virtuous, noble, special, or more worthy of love.

Pain is just pain.  It happens.  It happens to everyone.  But there is no need to hold on to it.

Let it go.