you are not responsible

Today we ask that you know you are not responsible for the lives of others.

It is one thing to be a loving, kind, and compassionate person, who helps and cares about others, and the world.

But you are not responsible for the lives of others.

People are so very hard on themselves, because they believe they are responsible for the lives of others.  It is the source of terrible suffering.

But you are not responsible for the lives of your parents, your family members, or your friends.

When raising children, of course there are certain responsibilities, and things that must be done to take care of the growing child.

But ultimately, the fate of your child is not in your hands.  You cannot control what will happen to your child in the world.  Your child’s existence is part of something much bigger, that you cannot perceive or fully understand.  No matter how perfect a parent you may strive to be, please understand that you are in not in control of your child’s destiny.  

People who are very unhappy like to blame other people for their problems.  They may point their finger at you and say: “You are responsible for my suffering!”

But really this is not so.

It is true that people may be insensitive and hurtful with others.

But to claim that your fate is someone else’s responsibility is false.

That is because the forces that shape your destiny are far bigger than anything you can perceive.  The idea that any one person could ever be responsible for your fate is totally false.

In truth, the only person you are responsible for is you.

Your well-being is completely in your hands.

And the single best thing you can do for your loved ones is to take very good care of yourself, love yourself, and enjoy your life.

Martyring yourself for others may appear to be helpful, but only in the short term.  In the long term, martyring yourself is neither good for you, nor your loved ones.  

If you make yourself miserable trying to be “responsible,” inevitably you will take out your misery on the very people you believe you are helping. 

The most responsible thing you can do for other people is to be very kind, gentle, compassionate, and loving with yourself.

This will help you to be kind, gentle, compassionate and loving toward others.

Please know that if you feel guilty because someone is pointing a finger at you, and saying you are responsible for their problems, in all likelihood this is really not true at all.  

If you truly feel you have wronged someone, by all means make amends to the best of your ability.

And yet know at the same time that you are not responsible for their fate, or their well-being.

The vast majority of the time, when someone points a finger at you, says you are responsible for their life problems, and tries to make you feel guilty, it is a false situation.  Be kind and compassionate with this person to the best of your ability, and hear them out; but do not by any means take on the heavy weight of guilt.

The kindest thing you can do for your loved ones is to be kind to yourself.

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