For many of you, worry is simply how you demonstrate that you care. If you love someone, you worry. If you are concerned about an issue, you worry about it.
And so “caring” is linked with “worry.”
This is extremely problematic.
You see, worry is fear.
And fear is actually opposed to love. Fear is like a toxin whose presence makes it difficult for love to thrive.
Therefore, when you worry about someone, you actually love that person less.
This may sound outrageous, but it is absolutely true.
When you worry about someone, you love them less.
Why is this so?
Because now this person you love is linked in your consciousness with feelings of anxiety.
Feelings of anxiety are very unpleasant.
So when you worry about someone, you begin to associate that person with an unpleasant sensation. This creates an aversion.
Any time you worry about someone, there is a sense that this person is a burden for you.
Out of that feeling of aversion and burden grows resentment.
That is why if you are someone who links love with worry, all love in your life will be mingled with feelings of resentment and burden.
This is where relationships between parents and children are derailed.
If the parent is constantly worried about the child’s welfare, this means that the child’s very existence is a source of painful fears. The child is then consciously or unconsciously perceived as a burden, and the parent will begin to feel resentment, which he will inevitably act out toward the child.
That is why worrying about someone is not really a sign of love. It is actually a cause of resentment.
It is entirely possible to feel love and caring without worry. It is just that most of you were systematically trained to associate “caring” with “worry.”
Worry does not help anyone.
If a loved one is enduring a crisis, feelings of worry and anxiety for that person’s welfare will actually make you less capable of helping your loved one.
When you are worried about someone, you automatically disconnect from that person. You begin to distance yourself, to try to ease the terrible pain of worry.
If you examine this, you will see it is true.
This also applies to global issues. The more you sit around worrying about climate change, the less likely you are to do anything truly constructive.
And on an energetic level, radiating feelings of fear toward a person or a situation is quite detrimental and counterproductive.
The next time you find yourself worrying about someone, notice if that feeling increases or decreases your sense of true loving connection with that person. Just pay attention, without judging yourself.
Being aware of these patterns is the first step toward healing them.