is this someone you want to listen to?

Today we ask that you not listen to self-hating, miserable people.

This world is full of self-hating, miserable people.  They have pinched, tense faces.  They stress and worry about everything.  They are very angry and resentful.  They will tell you what victims they are.  Life is a miserable chore to these people, an endless wearisome burden.  They feel little joy; if they do at all it is fleeting.  Most of the time they are just plain miserable.

Some of you may have parents like this, or friends, or bosses, or coworkers.  Sometimes you may be like this yourself.  And that is okay; it is not shameful.  It is a result of conditioning.  

However, it must be understood that people in a chronic negative mental state are actually quite unwell in their minds.  They are very confused and delusional about life.  

Such people could look at a beautiful sunset over the ocean, and not even see it.  They are so caught up in their endless negative repetitive thoughts, that they could not recognize the breathtaking beauty of the world even if it jumped up and bit them.  

And yet so often these deeply deluded individuals consider themselves paragons of wisdom and intellect.  They are very apt to dispense advice, and tell you what to do.  They may even become pundits, talking heads on TV or the internet.  They may become critics.  They are definitely “know-it-alls.”

So it may be that one of these negative people approaches with you with all manner of advice and judgments about how you are living your life the wrong way.

Now, the first thing to look at, when someone is telling you what you ought to do, is:

Does this person appear to be content, and at ease?

Is there a lightness about this being?  A clarity?  A sense of presence?

Does this person appear to appreciate and enjoy life?

Is this person peaceful, and calm?

If the answer to these questions is yes, then by all means, listen.  This person clearly is tapped into a deeper wisdom, and you may benefit from it.

On the other hand, if the person seems sour, miserable, and neurotic, with a lot of personal problems and an inability to enjoy life, then why on earth would you listen to him?  Do you wish to be like this person?  Then by all means, do what he says.

This is especially true if it is someone in your family.  You may love this person, but for heaven’s sake, don’t listen to what they say, unless you want to be just as miserable.  

It is funny, and sad, how susceptible people are to listening to some cranky, negative, miserable person, yet will ignore someone who is simply loving and peaceful.

The more you love yourself, the less persuasive all the negative voices become.  Until at last you can sit with them, see through their delusions, and feel only compassion.