why loving yourself is not irresponsible

Today we ask that you examine resistance around the concept of loving the self.

A few days ago, we discussed “radical self-love,” defining it as a state of deeply knowing one’s guiltlessness, sinlessness, and perfection.  

The general objections that arise around this concept are:

Self-love is selfish.  It is irresponsible.  It is dangerous.  It is immoral.  If everyone went around “loving themselves,” no work would ever get done, and civilization would devolve into anarchy.

This is all completely untrue.

Radical self-love is, quite simply, the absence of self-hatred.

It is life without the inner critical voice of self-hatred.

The fact is, most humans are rather severely self-hating.

There is absolutely nothing selfless or responsible about self-hatred.

Self-hatred is the root cause of virtually all human violence, and most human suffering.  If you sit with this, you will see that it is true.

Even in the Biblical myth of Cain and Abel, it is no stretch of the imagination to perceive that Cain’s desire to murder his brother arose out of his own self-hatred, and feeling of unworthiness and inadequacy.

And yet most humans believe, quite insanely, that some measure of self-hatred is healthy, and necessary for a healthy society.

They perceive shame-based self-hatred as a motivator for getting up and going to work, for keeping in physical shape, for staying faithful to one’s spouse, and generally for “following the rules.”

And so — you have countless self-hating people working in jobs they hate, in which they do not accomplish much.  You have countless self-hating people working out in gyms and going on punitive diets, only to gain all their weight back.  You have countless self-hating people in relationships with other self-hating people, behaving hatefully toward each other.  You have countless self-hating parents and teachers instructing otherwise sane, healthy children how to best hate themselves.  

Your whole consumer industry is predicated on self-hatred.  Advertising is only effective with people who hate themselves, and are convinced that they might hate themselves a little less if they bought something.  They buy the thing, and still hate themselves.

The vast majority of physical and mental illness in your society is caused by self-hatred.

So when people fear self-love as a force that would “overturn civilization,” they are not entirely wrong.

Healthy, self-loving people choose to engage in anything they do from a place of fullness, and self-love.  They have no desire to waste their time in activities that are meaningless, or worse, cause harm to others.

Healthy, self-loving people are creative.  Often their creativity is altruistic.  When you love yourself, you automatically love other people, and a natural desire arises to ease human suffering.  Healthy, self-loving people very often work directly with others in altruistic ways.  They may create works of art that allow a beautiful, resonant experience for others, or help people understand themselves.  

Healthy, self-loving people have an affinity toward the natural world, and innately feel a sense of loving stewardship over the earth — a desire to pass on a beautiful planet to future generations.

Healthy, self-loving people have healthy, loving relationships.  They teach their children to love themselves, and love others.

So that is what “radical self-love” is really all about.

It is the absence of self-hatred.

This is what your world is moving toward now.  The younger generations will increasingly reject the lessons of hatred and toxic guilt that many in your current society still hold sacred.

The notion that healthy self-love is dangerous or irresponsible in any way is a lie.

Everyone reading these words is an intrinsically good and beautiful being, with absolutely no cause to feel self-hatred.

Please begin to notice your self-hating thoughts.  Question them.  They do not serve you, anyone else, or the world.

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