Today we ask that you know you are not responsible for the well-being of destructive people in your life.
Destructive people tend toward an extremely negative worldview. They are judgmental, aggressive, and manipulative. They speak with the Voice of Fear. If they are attempting to control you, they may say or do terrible things to assure themselves that you are under their spell. They will often use guilt as a weapon. They are mercurial, and inconstant. Their love, such as it is, is highly conditional. There is never enough you can do to prove your worth to such people. They are always ready to attack, and judge.
Most of you know people like this. If you do not — you are very fortunate.
Please do not believe these people. What they say is never true, when they are attacking and judging.
You are not responsible for their well-being. They may claim that you are; but you are not.
The best way to deal with such individuals is to disengage from their attempts to pull you into drama (and such people are inevitably surrounded by drama). Do not argue with them, do not get sucked in. Do not let them play their manipulative games with you. The only way to win at that game is to refuse to play.
If you truly want to help these people, then help yourself. Strengthen yourself. It is like the advice that is given on airplanes: you must first put the oxygen mask on yourself, before you can attend to people who are weaker than you. Otherwise no one shall survive.
And that is the way of it. This does not mean, do not have compassion for such people. But compassion does not mean being a doormat.
You must have the strength to look at these people with very clear eyes. When you do, you will often see that destructive people really are nothing more than terribly confused children in adult bodies. That is often the most accurate way to see them. When you perceive them this way, you will feel compassion for them — but you certainly will not listen to them, any more than you would listen to a little child having a tantrum.
It takes a good deal of strength to remain calm and stable around adult children in the midst of tantrums — particularly if you are inclined to see that adult as some sort of authority figure, whose approval you are seeking. That is why working on yourself is the single best way to help such people, if they are in your life. The stronger you are, the more you can truly help them. Not by listening to their fear-based attacks; but by listening to your soul, and your loving heart.
At the end of the day, you are not responsible for their well-being. They are children of the universe, the same as you. Trust that higher powers have the matter well in hand. Nothing is overlooked in this reality. Be kind to yourselves. The rest will follow.