shame

Today we ask you to release your shame.

Release your shame.

Whatever causes you to feel a sense of shame – let go of it.

Let go of your shame about your physical appearance.

Let go of your shame about where you are in life, how you are not measuring up to where you think you are supposed to be.

Let go of your shame about the mistakes you have made in the past.

Let go of your shame about the clutter in your home or office.

Let go of your shame about not being good enough at what you do.

Let go of your shame about not meeting other people’s expectations.

Let go of your shame about not meeting your own expectations.

Let go of your shame over your failures.

Let go of your shame about how you have not been a good person.

Let go of your shame about not being more evolved than you are.

Let go of your shame about your physical health issues.

Let go of your shame, let go of your shame, let go of your shame.

It is one thing to make amends to someone if you truly feel that you knowingly or unknowingly wronged them.

But being ashamed about your body, your bank account, how you are just not good enough — this doesn’t do anyone any good. This kind of shame is purely harmful.

When you feel this kind of self-negating shame, you will inevitably lash out at the people around you, even the ones you love most. Especially them.

If you are ashamed of your body, then you will shame your loved ones about their bodies — whether or not you intend to.

 If you are ashamed because you are not good enough, you will shame your loved ones for not being good enough — whether or not you intend to.

That is how toxic shame is passed down through the generations, and that is how you came to feel so ashamed in the first place.

But it can stop.

Babies are not born feeling existential shame. Babies are not born hating their bodies and feeling like they can never be good enough. These are learned behaviors.

And anything that is a learned behavior can be unlearned. All that is required is conscious awareness.

Also you must examine any beliefs you hold about shame being good and valuable — for example, that feelings of shame and worthlessness goad you into action.

You will not work unless you shame yourself for being so lazy. You will not maintain your physical appearance unless you shame yourself for being fat and ugly. You will not clean your house unless you shame yourself for being such a slob. You will not be a good, moral person unless you shame yourself for having sinful thoughts.

This is all complete nonsense. Beliefs like these are the cause of no end of human suffering, disease, and violent behavior. Truly, these thoughts, which may sound quite normal to you, are utterly insane.

If people dropped these insane beliefs, they would be vastly more productive, far healthier and more well-ordered in their lives, and much kinder and more compassionate to all humans.

In other words, people aren’t the problem. Toxic shame is the problem.

Without your shame, you would be healthier, more productive, and kinder to yourself and those around you.

Your shame blocks all of those things.

Without toxic shame, you will naturally be moved to make amends and apologize, should that situation arise.

Without toxic shame, that situation will arise much less frequently.

So you might want to ask yourself: why am I holding on to my shame? What does it do for me? 

It does not make you a better person.

Once this begins to sink in, notice how often you feel shame in any given day. Just notice how often feelings of shame come up for you. You might be surprised. 

After observing the pattern for a while, gently question it. Is the shame you are feeling really valid here?

Can you imagine living a life without shame as your motivator to do things? Can you imagine how much the people around you would benefit if you weren’t consciously or unconsciously shaming them for being the way they are?

It is totally possible for a child to grow up without a toxic sense of shame. And such a child would be highly productive, healthy, and compassionate toward others.

So just look at the ways to reduce the level of shame in your daily life.

You will find that all of your life issues — health, relationships, work, prosperity — all of those things will benefit if you simply release your shame around them.

Releasing shame is one of the simplest and most powerful things you can do to bring healing and positive change to your life.

Why not try it? You have nothing to lose but your self-loathing.

And just because everyone else feels shame about everything doesn’t mean you have to, as well. You are not betraying your parents and families if you release your shame.

Far from it. One human free of shame is a gift to the world, a blessing to whomever she touches.

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