Today we ask that you stop inviting the Destructive Voice to your party.

What does this mean?

Almost everyone has a Destructive Voice in his mind.  It is the Voice that says you are worthless, and life is hopeless.  It says many things, but almost always it is some variation on: “You are worthless; life is hopeless.”

You probably know this Voice.

Sometimes this Voice is in your head.  Sometimes it is externalized, as other people speak words of worthlessness, hopelessness, victimhood, judgment, shame, attack, and so on.  Nothing is ever good enough for that Voice.

This Voice often shows up when you want to expand your energy in some way.  It also shows up when you are feeling low.  It likes to claim it is your friend, and is only looking out for your interests.

That is a lie.  The Destructive Voice is not your friend.

Or if it is a friend, it is a horrible friend.

It is the “friend” that sees what you are wearing, and says you look fat or ugly.

It is the “friend” that tastes the meal you have prepared, and says it is terrible.

It is the “friend” that tells you not to bother dating because no one will ever love you and it is all pointless.

That’s not really a friend, now is it?  

Why would you invite this Voice over?  You know that it will only spoil your good time and make you feel miserable.

Most of you probably feel like you have no choice.  The Voice is always there.  It always shows up, sooner or later.  You cannot make it go away.

But actually, you can.

It requires effort, and takes time.  But you can get this Voice to leave you alone.

When you hear it starting to talk, shift the focus of your attention elsewhere.

That is why meditation is a useful practice.  It trains you not to get lost in the insane train of discursive thought associated with the Destructive Voice.  Instead of listening to whatever the Voice is saying, you learn to return to the sound of your breathing.  The Voice may scream and try to shout louder, but eventually, it dissipates.

The Destructive Voice always demands that you listen to it.  It especially loves to engage in argument.  People are always arguing with the Voice — it is quite insane.

Whatever you do, don’t argue with it.  That only feeds the Voice.  Arguing with the Voice is like fighting with someone covered in sticky tar.  The more you fight, the more you get stuck.

Just nod at it, and shift the focus of your attention elsewhere.  It is good to imagine the things and people you are grateful for in this life.  Instead of listening to the Voice, connect with energy that makes you feel good, that is loving and supportive.  One useful technique is to literally drown out the Voice by listening to music that makes you feel good and light.

Over time, as you become more skilled at this, the Destructive Voice will lose its hold over your consciousness.  You will no longer invite it to your party.

This is true for the Voice in your mind, and external voices of judgment, shame, victimhood, and hopelessness.  Just don’t give them airspace in your head.  Change the channel.  Yes, often you may be stuck listening to someone like this ramble on.  But as soon as you can, change the channel.  Play some music that makes you feel good.  Just don’t allow the Voice to fester and stew in your consciousness.

Anyone can learn to do this.  It just requires practice.

When you stop inviting the Destructive Voice to your party, your party gets so much happier.  Now all the friends who truly love you are free to speak, without that killjoy bad friend hanging around.  It’s a much better party.

When you stop listening to the Destructive Voice, your life becomes a party.  And even if you meet with adversity, you can pick yourself up quickly and shake it off, instead of stewing in misery with your horrible friend, the Destructive Voice.

When you learn to shift the focus of your attention to healthy, supportive energies — and stop listening to the Destructive Voice — everything changes for the better.

It is only the Destructive Voice that says otherwise.