if the shoe doesn't fit, don't wear it

Today we ask that you wear shoes that fit.

What does this mean?

You all know what it is to look for a new pair of shoes.

A good shoe is one that fits your foot well and is a match with your personal energy.

Sometimes when you find a really good shoe, there is an immediate sense of “Oh, yes.”  Such is a shoe that you will wear often.  It will become a favorite shoe.

Other shoes you have to talk yourself into buying.  The fit or the look is not exactly right.  Sometimes people will buy a shoe that looks good, but doesn’t fit the foot.  Other times a shoe will be a bargain, and you may talk yourself into buying it because it is cheap.

You will not be happy with that shoe.  It will either sit in your closet unworn, or you will not feel good wearing it.

Many things in life are like this.  Shoes.  Clothes.  Cars.  Places to live.

Jobs.  Partners.  Friends.  

Your whole identity.

That is why it is good to learn to be really discerning and honest with yourself about what feels like an energetic match, and what does not.

Shoes that do not fit can be very irritating, but at least you can take them off.

It is harder to remove an identity that does not fit.

When something does not fit, it is painful, and often somewhat obvious.

Sometimes when a couple breaks up, the friends will say: “That person did not fit with you.  You are much better off without that person.”  It is unpleasant to hear, and may not be true.  But often there is a truth to it.  A friend who really knows you and accepts you for who you are can sometimes perceive these things better than you can.  

If only we could know ourselves as well as we know our good friends.

Of course, we do know ourselves.  That is why we have to talk ourselves into things in the first place.  We already know that the shoe doesn’t fit, but the voice says: “It’s a bargain!” or “You need shoes like this for work” or “You look attractive in those shoes.”

Sometimes you may see a woman wearing tight, high-heeled shoes that she cannot walk in.  She stumbles, and is in obvious pain.  Why would she wear such shoes?

Because a voice in her head, or some external voice, suggested that she would be more attractive in such shoes.

But it is not really all that attractive to stumble about with your ankles buckling, in pain.

So that voice isn’t really telling the truth.  The voice that talks you into doing things is usually wrong.

It’s wrong about shoes, homes, jobs, and relationships.

Watch out if you are talking yourself into something.

It’s easier to take off a pair of shoes that doesn’t fit than a career that doesn’t fit.

At the same time, do not be afraid to try something new.  It is not necessarily wise to only wear the same old broken-in pair of shoes all the time.  Do be open to new experiences and new ways of doing things — the same way you try on a pair of shoes in the store.  It is good to try things on for size.  

It is a fine balance.  Do not force something on yourself that does not fit you.  At the same time, be open to trying new experiences.  

There is a difference between being open to something new and talking yourself into something.

The pull toward a positive new experience will feel good and exciting, even if you feel butterflies in your stomach and nervousness.

Talking or forcing yourself into something will feel unpleasant, like a grind, or bumping into a wall over and over.  Wearing uncomfortable shoes is a good analogy.  It just doesn’t feel right no matter what you do.

There is a difference between the great new pair of shoes that need to be broken in, and the tight shoes that will never fit no matter how hard you try.

It may seem like a subtle distinction.  But if you know how to really listen to your heart and be honest with yourself, it is a big difference.